“The 8 Personality Types That Naturally Attract Women”
Saturday, 6 February 2010 16:48 No Comments
The Lover And Provider Personalities
The Eight Personality Types Of Men Who Are Successful
With Women
After studying women, relationships, evolution, and psychology for the
last several years, I’ve come across some startling information.
I now believe that women have two kinds of ‘mental programs’ when it
comes to men. And when I say the word ‘programs’ I mean it. Specifically, I
mean that they are programmed from birth by their genes, as well as by
society to respond UNCONSCIOUSLY to two different types of men that fit
their mental pictures.
In psychology, the term ‘archetype’ is used to describe a mental
structure that operates on an unconscious level. I’m going to use the term
‘personality types’ here to describe this concept.
In a nutshell:
? I believe that women respond AUTOMATICALLY to certain men, and
that most of this response is based on the man’s personality,
communication, achievements, etc. – not his looks (don’t get me
wrong. Looks are important. But they’re not nearly as important in
the long run as personality).
? Women are usually not consciously aware of why they react to these
Personality Types.
? These personalities can be divided into two basic groups: The Lover
and The Provider.
? Women respond to Lover personalities by having sex with them
immediately.
? Women respond to Provider personalities by withholding sex in order
to make the man prove that he will stay loyal for the long run.
? There are also several ‘unsuccessful’ personality types. By
unsuccessful, I mean that these types are not attractive to most
women. (If you’re one of these, don’t take it personally. Try
something different. I did.)
These are the two mental roads – Lover (short term) or Provider (long
term). If you get on one road, it’s hard to get off. So choose wisely.
For each of the two successful Personality Types, there are four
variations. These are created by combining the factors of ‘Dominant vs.
Submissive’ with the basic personalities. This brings the total to eight subtypes
that are successful with women.
Here’s a little chart that shows the personality types. There are two
personality types in each box. For instance, the ‘Bad Boy’ and the
‘Adventurer’ are in one box, but they are separate personalities.
Lover Provider
Self Oriented Her Oriented
Seduces Women Courts A Woman
Dominant ‘Bad Boy’ ‘Successful Guy’
(He controls) ‘Adventurer’ ‘Daddy’
Submissive ‘Seducer’ ‘Regular Guy’
(She controls) ‘Artist’ ‘Ass Kisser’
And here’s a short description of the eight personalities with the appeals that
they have to women:
Lover Personalities:
? Bad Boy (danger) Someone who’s dangerous and thrilling to be around.
? Adventurer (fun) Someone who’s fun and exciting to be around.
? Seducer (sex) Someone who is sensual and sexy and makes her feel
sexy.
? Artist (Musician, Poet) (emotion) Someone who moves her emotions and
is enigmatic and complex.
Provider Personalities:
? Successful Guy (means) Someone who provides a great lifestyle and
stability.
? Daddy (control) Someone who tells her what to do and controls her.
? Regular Guy (loyalty) Someone who is down to earth, loyal and stable.
? Ass Kissing Guy (her boy) Someone who gives her whatever she wants.
Most of the women in this world will respond to ALL of these
personalities to one extent or another.
Now, if you read what other authors say about how to be successful
with women, they will usually teach you only what works for THEM. I’m
guilty of this very thing in my book. I try to give a broader perspective on
the topic, because I believe that even though something doesn’t work for ME
doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work!
So here’s a short outline of each personality type. As you read, think
about which one you most closely resemble, and make it your goal to
become more like the ideal each day.
Lover Personalities
The Bad Boy (danger) Someone who’s dangerous and thrilling to be
around.
Bad boys are everything from gangsters to bikers to some rock and roll
musicians. These guys are usually tough, dress tough, and act tough as
often as possible. They drink, smoke, get tattoos, and generally demonstrate
in every way possible that they’re from the wrong side of the tracks, and
your mother would not approve.
Examples: Tommy Lee, Mickey Rourke, any guy on a Harley, and
Sammy The Bull.
Why do women love them? Danger Will Robinson! There is an addictive
emotional rush being around a guy that could literally do ANYTHING. A lot of
these guys wind up beating their model girlfriends and spending time in jail.
Later, the woman says “He made a mistake, and I love him…”
Amazing. These guys almost always control their women. Anyway, I
wouldn’t recommend being the extreme version of this one. You can get a
tattoo and buy a Harley and act all bad, but it’s really not making to you a
better person to become a criminal.
I have to mention that this personality type is the one that women are
most MAGNETICALLY attracted to. Again, this is because of the addictive
rush that comes from being around them.
The Adventurer (fun) Someone who’s fun and exciting to be around.
The Adventurer is constantly looking for the next fun experience.
Adventurers love to go surfing, skiing, racing, bungee-jumping, and
skydiving. Think Indiana Jones and James Bond.
They are fearless. Instead of being bad to get thrills, they usually like to
do crazy things to get thrills. Their appeal is much the same as the Bad Boy,
except that these guys don’t usually wind up beating their women. Women
like to be around them because they drive fast, go interesting places, and
generally have a sense of ‘adventure’ about everything they do.
They have the attitude of “What adventure is waiting around the next
corner” – even if they’re just going out to dinner. They have a colorful way of
slightly exaggerating every story and emphasizing the adventurous points.
Adventurers are like Bad Boys in that they like fast toys and fast
women. Women are attracted to them because they are a kick to be around
- and they often have more than one woman at a time (and I mean this both
ways!) And women totally accept this from them. Women usually understand
on an unconscious level that this is the type of guy that loves more than one
woman.
They’re also damn fun. I have a couple of Adventurer buddies, and
they’re always talking about how much fun everything is, and the fun they’re
going to have tonight and tomorrow. They have extreme optimism, which
women LOVE.
Again, Adventurers are usually in control in relationships, and can never
be tamed. A curious point: most of the Adventurers that I know cheat on
their girlfriends or spouses. Hugh Hefner is an ‘Adventurer’ personality.
The Seducer (sex) Someone who is sensual and sexy and makes her feel
sexy.
Seducers are all about women. They understand women completely. As
a matter of fact, I sometimes think that maybe they were women in past
lives or something.
I have to read, struggle, and work to understand women. Seducers
seem to have a natural way with them. To most men, a Seducer seems
bizarre, and even slightly homosexual. They do things that are pretty far
out.
Watch the movie ‘Don Juan DeMarco’ with Johnny Depp. This movie is
the epitome of the Seducer. Don Juan can only see the world through his
romantic perspective, which is magnetic to women. Seducers are usually
submissive, as they are constantly pleasing the woman, and paying careful
attention to her needs.
The flip side is that as soon as they have gotten what they want from a
woman (sex), they’re gone. Sure, they may come back for romantic
evenings of sex, but they are not often around for the long term.
The Artist (Musician, Poet) (emotion) Someone who moves her emotions
and is enigmatic and complex.
Why is Barry White so famous for swooning the chicks?
Why do women love guys like Kurt Kobain and other equally twisted,
introverted guys?
I believe that the answer lies inside the psyche of women. Women like
to have challenges, and they like to help people. The Artist personality is
both complex and in need of help and understanding.
Most Artists see the world much differently than other people. They look
at tree and see a giant feather duster, or they see a color and can taste it. If
you think I’m kidding, I’m not. I’ve spent years studying psychology, and
there are some people that have their senses and perceptions combined and
linked in unusual ways.
Women can usually understand the Artist’s expressions better than
other men can. And they are usually very attracted to these personalities for
this very reason. The Artist needs someone to understand them, and there’s
always a woman who needs someone to be understood.
Most Artists are not in control of the woman in their lives, because
they’re not in control of THEMSELVES. They are usually disorganized, and
completely unaware of time, etc. If you want to become an Artist, also work
on the other areas of your life to stay in balance. Unfortunately, most Artists
don’t have very healthy personalities.
Provider Personalities
The Successful Guy (means) Someone who provides a great lifestyle
and stability.
The successful guy brings money and stability to the table. Most women
are trying to find one of these guys to marry them.
The way to demonstrate that you’re a Successful Guy is to drive a nice
car, live in a nice house, take her to nice dinners, and buy her gifts. Any
Doctor, Lawyer or Stock Broker fits this ideal.
Usually, these guys are dominant in the relationship. They’ve worked
hard to climb the ladder of success, and they use these leadership skills in
their relationship (and even parenting).
Women love them because they represent the ultimate goal of most
women: Stability. Most wives would rather have a stable $3,000.00 a
month income than have an unpredictable income of $50,000.00 a year -
spread out over 12 months with no guarantee of when in the year they’ll get
it.
So Mr. Successful Guy gives them that ‘Security Blanket.’ I personally
think that Successful Guys are the ones who most likely use prostitutes the
most in America. This is just a guess, but my experience tells me that it’s
probably accurate.
If you’re successful, then this one is easy. If you’re not, then you might
want to think about learning some marketable skills.
Here’s a warning: Most men try to act like they’re successful when they
first meet a woman. They show off by buying drinks or dinner, etc. This
immediately causes a woman to go into the mode of ‘hold off on the sex.’
The other problem is that it’s expensive.
Buy yourself a copy of ‘The Rules’ – the one that’s written for women.
This is they type of guy that they’re teaching women to trap. So beware.
Daddy (control) Someone who tells her what to do and controls her.
This is another interesting personality type. Some women are very
attracted to controlling men who treat them like little girls. Some women
take this to an extreme and date men much older than them.
I don’t know if this is an accurate observation, but a lot of really
attractive, powerful women are attracted to men who control them and treat
them like little girls.
My opinion is that some women get their way all the time from men,
and they don’t like it. They resent men who bow down to them, and have no
respect for them. There’s a certain sexual energy that comes from being
controlled, and a lot of powerful women are attracted to it.
If you’re interested in learning more about this mindset, read the book
‘Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns’ by Philip Miller. The first 50 or 60
pages are a very interesting discussion of dominance and submission.
Although I don’t like to act like a woman’s Daddy, I’ve found that it’s very
useful to know how to spot a woman that’s testing me – and how to deal
with it.
Daddy personalities are usually attracted to the world of S&M etc. If
you’re naturally controlling, then this might be your angle. But be careful.
This is all well and good for a personality, but some Daddy types like to turn
in to Stalkers. If you act like a nut, someone is going to put you in jail
(where you should be).
The Regular Guy (loyalty) Someone who is down to earth, loyal and
stable.
The Regular Guys in the world don’t get enough credit in my opinion.
Unfortunately, they also don’t get enough women… ha. The fact is, most
Regular Guys wind up in long term relationships with women that are like
them – regular.
Regular guys work hard, mow the lawn and watch a lot of TV. They may
start out being fun and adventurous when they’re younger, but they usually
settle into a more boring life because they believe that they can do no better
for themselves – or that it’s not worth the effort.
I’m sure you know a bunch of regular guys. They’re married with 2.3
kids and a rectangular 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in a subdivision.
Regular Guys may start out in control of a relationship, but in almost
EVERY case I’ve seen, the woman eventually takes control. The women
starts nagging, telling him what to do, etc.
If you’re a Regular Guy, or would like to become one, I’d recommend
adding a little bit of Adventurer and Seducer to the mix. Dress a little better.
Make yourself more fun and interesting, and you’ll be able to attract more
interesting women. My book Double Your Dating will help you become FAR
more interesting to women. The chapter on how to be Cocky and Funny will
be Gold to you.
Ass Kissing Guy (her boy) Someone who gives her whatever she wants.
Ass Kissing Guy is my favorite! Ass Kissing Guy follows his woman
around saying “OK honey, whatever you want” and “I’m sorry” and “What’s
wrong sweetie?”
Ass Kissing Guy likes to use submissive body language, not look people
in the eye, and act passive aggressive. Ass Kissing Guy actually should be
called Ass Kissing Girly-Man, because he acts kind of like a girl.
Women who are dominant and controlling like to have an Ass Kissing
Guy around as a boyfriend for awhile – sometimes they even marry them.
But it’s not a happy life, and I wouldn’t recommend it.
If you’re an Ass Kissing Guy, then I’d recommend that you spend more
time reading Double Your Dating, and add some Adventurer and Daddy to
your type. It will make your life more enjoyable in the long run.
Now, let me ask you a quesion:
Which one most closely described you? Or which one would you like to
work towards? The interesting benefit of each of these is that the more you
embody the Personality Type, the more interesting you usually become.
Change requires you to learn and improve.
One decision you have to make is “What do you want in a woman?”
You also have to ask yourself whether you’re looking for a long-term
relationship or a short one. This is IMPORTANT. If you start taking women to
dinner, buying them gifts, and calling them days in advance to ask them out
on dates you’re going to trigger them to respond to you as a Provider. They
will hold back sex, and expect you to demonstrate your ability to provide.
On the other hand, I’ve found that if you start out as a Lover
Personality, you can always choose to switch later on. So choose wisely.
There’s more on this topic in my book Double Your Dating, which you
must read in order to understand this completely.
Now here’s a list of UN-successful Personality Types. I’m not trying to
pick on anyone here, but I’ve dated and interviewed a LOT of women. These
are the types that GENERALLY turn women off.
Unsuccessful Archetypes:
? Hippie (Careless about grooming and clothing)
? Nerd (Not socially educated or charming)
? Redneck (’nuff said)
? Prejudice, Ignorant and Proud (again, speaks for itself)
? Insecure and Needy (Clingy and smothering physically and emotionally)
? Afraid man (Won’t take risks in life and go for it)
? Mommy’s boy (Needs mom’s approval for everything, won’t grow up)
? Argument man (Argues with everything all the time)
? Unattractive on purpose (This can work if you like women who are the
same)
I’d like you to take a moment and think about three guys that you know
who are successful with women, and three that aren’t.
Chances are that the three that are successful will be found in the
‘Successful Personality Types’ section, and the others won’t. There may be
one or two that don’t fit the ‘Successful’ molds, but they’re probably with
women who are not exactly the most desirable in the world. I’m not trying to
be mean here, I’m trying to help you see how things work.
So take some time and think about who you’ve been up until now, the
new perspective that you have, and how you’re going to be different in the
future. Write down three things you can start doing RIGHT NOW to become
more like the Personality type that you’d like to be come. Then get to work
and stick with it!
If you have any suggestions about what you’ve just read, please email
me at daviddeangelo@doubleyourdating.com to let me know.
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